You can't have this cheesecake recipe.

This fucker is the holy grail of all cheesecakes. I'm not even joking or being arrogant. Actually to be fair I am being arrogant, but it's fine.

So basically, I'm not giving up this recipe, I'm just boasting. Anyone that's ever tried this cheesecake knows what I'm talking about, although last time I made it no one got the chance...cos I ate it all...in 2 days...

You only really see my extremely abusive side when it comes to cheesecake. My very best friend Mike knows about this, as he kindly brought me some cheesecake he made the other day and I insisted it was wrong. Because it wasn't this ^. I'm a horrible person. It turns out he's the only one who is allowed to know about this recipe.

You may be judging by the grandma plate and messy cut in the middle that this cheesecake is being overhyped, it isn't.
Speaking of grandmas, mine isn't allowed this recipe and has been known to skulk around the kitchen when she comes over looking for it. Sneaky minx.

Seeing as I'm refusing to give you (or my sweet, mildly racist grandma) this recipe, I will share with you the recipe for my nails this week. They are VERY exciting.

Never done a crossword in my life, I'm pretty convinced I don't know the rules - but wear a crossword? That I can do.
Super easy.
1. Paint nails a very light colour
2. Wait for them to dry, then dip them in a shotglass of vodka
3. Cut a strip of newspaper (it can be anything you want, not neccessarily crossword) and lay it on top of the nail
4. Peel off, top coat and you look like a FUCKING GENIUS.

Thats all folks
xx