Tiramisu Cupcakes

Some of you may know that I don't really eat cake. I've mention this before and I know it makes me look like a bigger fraud than Mona but it's true. This means, however, that I will only make cake that is so good that even I want to eat it.

You can ask any member of my family, 80% of the time when I'm baking I yell at the food like it's just cheated on me and throw it away. Then I paint my nails, which is risky because when I fuck that up they're attached to me so all I can really do is yell at my hands. Makes me feel like I know Edward Scissorhands' pain.

So that's why these cupcakes are special. Not only are they cake, but they are coffee flavoured cake. I fucking hate coffee flavoured anything. The only thing I hate more than coffee flavoured things is denim miniskirts. But that's a whole other issue.

Not only did I eat this motherfuckers. I loved them. They're so moist, so alcoholic, and taste like a Starbucks/Hummingbird lovechild. I want to adopt that lovechild.
 I literally spent more time eating them than Tulisa did that poor man's penis. (I can't remember his name properly, but honestly if you suck off someone who's name starts with DJ, you shouldn't be that appalled when he's not the perfect gentleman after.)

I'm going to get back to the cake soon, but first I'm going to talk about myself. And there's nothing you can do about it. I've had a very interesting couple of weeks.

I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years, but don't worry in the words of Beyonce:
 'I'm not gonna blast you on the radio, I'm better than that.' (I feel that blogging is the 2012 equivalent of the radio)

I still care for the boy deeply, possibly not as much as I do his sisters but I can't help that. Either way it's been a very interesting time finding out what single life is about for possibly the first time in my life. I've been taught by my friends (and Carrie) a fair amount.

For example, Casey has taught me never to get with anyone below an 8...which is fine if you look like Casey.

I've also been taught by Kunal to stop hate-chirpsing people. For example I produced the following pickup line on Monday night 'oh you're French? I hate French guys. No, you're not an exception.' (It worked though)

Other than this sage wisdom I'm morealess just having a fuckload of fun with my last few weeks of term. WAH. I'm honestly going to miss it so much seeing as I will be spending all of Easter surrounded by Matza and my inappropriate family who need to stop sharing information about their sex lives. That means you Grandma.

...slut

There's so much more going on but honestly I will bore you to death. I'm going to post the recipe tomorrow because I can't be fucked right now.

THIS BIT'S ACTUALLY ABOUT CAKE
Just going to briefly explain what these beautiful little cupcakes are about. Aside from heaven.
They are Tiramisu cupcakes, gorgeous vanilla sponge with Kahlua and coffee soaked centres with a layer of Kahlua cream in the middle and on top. (I made the Kahlua myself because I'm a badman raised by alcoholics).

Here's a couple more pictures so you get the gist:

Strawberries & Cream Cheesecake

Hello loyal and patient fans...(members of my family and probably some middle aged Asian businessmen that got here accidentally while surfing for Hentai porn). I know I keep leaving it years between posts but it's nice to be dramatic and attention seeking reappearing like that guy in The Prestige.

 Incase anyone cares how my life is going at uni i'll give a brief update. I've finally started acting like a real student and went to two whole seminars. Little did I know prior to this that it was possible to spend 120 minutes learning about walls. I've also cut down on my unhealthy Internet shopping addiction and am enriching my life with more positive things, like cigarettes and Pretty Little Liars.

 The rest of semester 2 so far has really been a blur of drama, vomit, people falling in bushes and lots of questionably tight and slutty clothing...on my friend James Phillips. It shouldn't come as much of a surprise that sometimes I like a break from it all to come home and talk to my cookery books. But only a short break, to bring cake back to the troops.

 Today's recipe is really a keeper. Strawberries and cream cheesecake. *sighhhh* it just sounds so perfect as a pairing like honey and lemon, or Kardashian and leopard print, or Milton Karamani and fake tan.

It's honestly the best recipe ever. It tastes how I assume Peter Pan clouds taste. It's a very modest but pretty cake and tastes creamy and light, like a purer version of Haagen Dazs Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream.

I decided to go with this recipe because I neglected to make my best friend Tally a birthday cake. Strawberries and cream is the picky bitches favourite flavour so I've had to go with it. Not that I wasn't a good enough friend on her birthday; coming down to London to wear a bikini in MARCH.

 Boys will probably not understand this, but the Universe gives girls exactly 10 months from the moment they stop wearing bikinis in September to the painstaking time they start again in June to mentally, emotionally and physically prepare for this harrowing task. So when thrown a curveball like this, we suddenly drop our smug late-winter attitude of 'I definitely look fabulous under my onesie, not like a pale doughboy' and jump ship. (but then we realise that requires a bikini and stay on the ship but in great lighting).

 Well if there was ever a cake to destroy the ability to bikini ever again it's this one - and it's fabulous.

 Here's the recipe:
 1. Mash up half a pack of digestives with a rolling pin, then stir in 100g melted butter. Line detachable bottom pan with this base.
 2. Boil 200g chopped strawberries with 80g caster sugar and 30ml water. As the strawbs go soft and the water reduces by half, remove from heat to cool.
3. Whip up 600g cream cheese with 100g caster sugar, then slowly beat in 2 eggs - one at a time. Stir in cooled strawberries.
4. Pour on top of base and wrap pan in foil, then place in a larger pan filled 3/4 top with water. Cook on 160c for half an hour. Whip up double cream to spread on top once cake is out the oven and cooled. Leave to set overnight.

 Xx